Not-Your-Average Black Girl

Are Black Women More ______ Than Other Women Because of Biological Differences?

2009-12-30T00:46:00.000-05:00

This is just a post that I have been wanting to share. Though I do not thoroughly explain everything, I just wanted to touch upon some key concepts that are continually shaping my perspective. Additionally, I am not claiming to be the know-it-all authority on anything, whatsoever. I just have learned a variety of thing that I think is compelling and useful for more people to explicitly hear. Also, if you do not "believe" in evolution (oh, dear) then you might not agree with me, but feel free to hear what I have to say and expand both your viewpoint and mine by sharing your thoughts.

Though it might be hard for some to understand or is often forgotten, "race" is a socially constructed term. When something is socially constructed it means that it is made by people or it is a human endeavor. Obviously, despite the fact that they're created by people, they still have real consequences and hold a presence in everyday life. We should question things that are socially constructed! From what I have learned/researched, race was an idea that was implemented in order to further political goals and help assign meaning to the different appearances of humankind. Before the mid-1600s, "blackness" and "whiteness" were not even clear distinctions yet. The gradual process of establishing the definition of race (at least in the US) was jump-started by when the first Africans were brought over as slaves. Prior to the usage of Africans for slaves, indentured servants were lower-class Europeans and the terms of "white," "black," etc. we not documented.

Now, as an Evolutionary Anthropology major I know that biologically humans or Homo sapiens are all a part of the same genus/species and race is once again a human-made endeavor. So what are the noted differences (physically and otherwise) that are often observed between the "races"? These differences arose out of genetic mutations which led to genetic variation (keep in mind that mutations are not all deleterious or harmful, they're simply random allele changes that might have a benefit, damaging, or neutral effect). These mutations would have occurred several thousand years ago as modern humans evolved out of Africa into different climates and with new biological demands outside of Africa. It is estimated that lighter skin evolved and originated in Europe between 6,000 and 12,000 years ago.

Now that all of that is off of my chest, I want to discuss how the stereotypes about different racial groups, sexes, and genders are based on culturally-derived/noted differences. These supposedly innate tendencies of black women to be more moody and have bad attitudes, for example, is not rooted in any sort of biological distinction. At all! The genetic differences between blacks and whites is incredibly minuscule. Most differences noted in different people are culturally-learned traits. Culture is simply: a shared way of living. So, perhaps within black culture, stronger, attitude-prone type women are seen more often and are raised to be that way for whatever reason. That being said, in my opinion, there is no concrete "one-size-fits-all" definition of black culture. It is very broad and widespread. Does a black female raised in urban Chicago have the same "cultural values" as a black female raised in middle class suburbia (i.e. The Cosby Show)? I would argue, yes and no to different extents. Obviously these two hypothetical individuals have lived completely different lives and are members of a variety of different cultures that shapes them to value different things differently.

This post is essentially my general view on the biological versus cultural differences between the socially-constructed races and I think it is open to interpretation and I am continually editing my perspective. I just wanted to share this information with whomever cares to read it.

Black Men and Dating

2009-12-29T14:05:00.008-05:00

It suffices to say that there is a significantly higher percentage of black men who date non-black women than black women who date interracially. Before I begin this analysis and discuss my opinion on the matter, I first want to explain my background and credentials. Because of the career path I aspire to become, I have taken sociology, biology, and anthropology courses and feel that my opinion on interracial dating is grounded in a relatively fact-based background and is hopefully well supported. That being said, let's begin.

I feel that the higher prevalence of black men/white women pairings is due to a combination of a few factors and one that is principally the basis for the other factors:

Black women are portrayed oftentimes as negative, abrasive, masculine and not the typical embodiment of what is thought to be "quintessential femininity."

This is the biggest factor, in my opinion, and it astounds me how much the media's definition of beauty and "typical black female" behavior affects the day-to-day dating world. Before I name some of the stereotypes of black women, I want to state my opinion on what stereotypes and generalizations are and how they differ. Stereotypes are statements and beliefs that are not supported by data (like observed patterns and exceptions to the patterns). Stereotypes are held even when data contradicts it and they shape our perceptions. I want to mention that stereotypes are often rooted in some observable truth, but they often manifest themselves to be negative and assumptive. Generalizations are statements made about a lot of different cases that have been observed. They are supported by data and evidence, though this does not mean that there are no contradictory cases.

Some of the stereotypical images of black women have included in the the past (and continue to include): The Mammy, The Hands-On-Her-Hips-Snappin'-Her-Fingers-In-a-Z-Formation Bitch, and The Hypersexual Ghetto Baby Mama. Notice that none of these stereotypes exude femininity which is defined as "having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with women, esp. delicacy and prettiness." Because these controlling, stereotypical images are seen everywhere, it is reflected in the societal relationships, too.

Many Black men and non-black men want to be what is deemed in society as the "masculine," strong partner in the relationship and though the stereotypes above are a far cry from the truth, they do not encourage serious romantic relationships with black women. For example, "Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women." Obviously, the information I have presented is not (by any means) saying that all black men/women or white men/women date interracially for any particular reason, I simply think there is more than just coincidence in the numbers.

Additionally, I just want to make it really clear that I am accepting of all relationships and am actually an advocate for the whole "Date-Whoever-You-Want" phenomenon. I actually detest people who are unaccepting or at least tolerable of different people, beliefs, lifestyles, etc. I just really wanted to present one of the factors that I think attribute to seeing some black men dating more white women than black women.

When I created this blog, the stereotypical images enveloped and followed me everywhere I went. I worried about exhibiting any of those negative stereotypes and feared being seen that way in the eyes of others. Now that some time has passed and I have matured some, I see that it is impossible to make a change in society's views without some fundamental, institutional change. Opportunities for success need to be broadened and encouraged for all, education should be improved, black women should be seen in different, positive roles in Hollywood, etc. The problem is deeply rooted and needs to be weeded out of the media before true change can happen.

Others?

2009-06-08T01:22:00.005-04:00

Through getting to know a lot of other people at school and otherwise, I have began to wonder if other members of other racial groups have similar feelings toward their isolation as a member of that group, too. I know a lot of Asian girls who assimilate to white culture and only date outside of their race who are often faced with a lot of upset from fellow Asians and Asian guys. And I'm sure that there are even some white people who feel isolated from the white community, too. Perhaps I am biased, however, I still feel that being a member of the black community and not fitting in is a tougher situation and a little less common. After years of trying to "be more black" to fit in, I have found that I have lost a lot of interest in being surrounded with a lot of black people. Perhaps it is just around where I am from, but I find that 99% of the blacks around here have totally succumbed to the typical views of what a black person should be. Though I am no stranger to hip-hop, I am certainly more open to other hobbies and likes than just hip-hop and fried chicken (isn't that another stereotypical black fave?.. too bad I don't even eat meat).

Maybe the reason that I feel it is more difficult to feel isolated in the black community versus the white, latino, or Asian communities is because the stereotypical black person is all over the TV and air waves. I feel like I see the stereotypes everyday, constantly. Am I the only one who feels so awkward when I am with others and there is some ridiculous representation of black culture that becomes really popular? Like those ridiculous YouTube videos that are sooo insensitive and admittedly are often comedic. I mean, though they are funny and frequently based on some truth, I often cringe a little each time I see something that is so stereotypical.

Here's a perfect example, "Top 60 Ghetto Black Names":

I feel like blacks are joked very often and like the stereotypes are perpetuated so much more than other races. Perhaps I just notice more because these stereotypes are applied to me, but any thoughts?

Will It Be The Same?

2008-08-26T23:58:00.008-04:00

My first best friends in kindergarten were two white girls whom I still keep in contact with today. After that, I became close to a girl who was Filipino but was from New Zealand, next was my tripod of black girl, Polish-Italian girl, and another fellow black girl. Then came my close relationship with a frenemy, if you will, who was Lebanese, and now I'm close with my best friend (and one of the most genuine friends I've ever had) whose Jewish. I list these past and current close friendships to lay out how many different type of friends I have had, and how diverse my group of friends was and still is. I was never the girl who only talked to black girls or only dated or was friends with black guys. Primarily because many of them felt I was too white for them. Go figure (see last entry).

I do wonder though, if at college I will find myself in situations where all different types of black people will be possible friends, and if I will associate with only people of my own background. When I go to college I want to be involved in a diversity club, and perhaps a black student group of some sort, too. I just always find (forgive me if I am wrong, or just generalizing, but a lot of times this is what I experience) that I am always ridiculed within my own racial group! I am tired of having random, foreign fingers fondle my hair and feel around my ponytail while asking "Is that your real hair?!" or being told "you have that good hair" and being viewed as 'snobby' because I am lighter than a lot of the deeper shades of brown within our culture. Sorry, but this has proven to not be to my liking. I don't know if the "is that a wig or a weave" question is only an elementary/secondary school type of encounter and if we, as a group, grow out of this ridiculous colorism or internal yearning for some sort of European features or... if this is just the way it is.

I am excited to go to college to find out, because it seems like the black students selected to attend my school (highly competitive, not a lot of diversity) are mainly selected because they are good at basketball or football. This leaves me with minimal black friends at my school, and only a few from younger years, or family members. Only one more year until I find out!

Eureka! You Really Do Act White!

2008-08-17T19:10:00.006-04:00

I don't think I get "it". "It" being the way today's youth acts. Let me clarify. My ex-boyfriend attempted to proclaim that I "really do act white." While this expression of his bottled up emotions about how much I seem to act might have been rude (I hate that expression with the fiery of a thousand suns), it really was not that original. Sure, he might think he can justify his rudeness with saying, "oh, you know what I mean!" and "I was just kidding!"... come on now, who is he fooling? Does he genuinely think that he has just discovered and unveiled the most obscure observation on the face of this earth? I mean, does he really deserve to shout "Eureka!" at the top of his lungs? It's not that I have never been called white, or an Oreo before.

Clearly, I think that (while I took offense to his comment) "acting white" seems to be better than "acting black" at least as far as I can tell. If acting white means showing my intelligence, then: thanks for complimenting me, dear ex-boyfriend. However, I still think it suffices to say that both expressions are dumb and incredibly stereotypical. I do not think that anyone truly fits all of what their color supposedly says they should fit. Oh, and I'd also like to add that this ex of mine has no authority on the matter as he basically can check every box under the race/ethnicity category on applications.

Actual Beauty Standards for White Women

2008-07-13T23:11:00.014-04:00

My last post made me wonder if it was simply the rather vast differences in appearance between typical traits of blacks and whites that controlled attraction factors (A.K.A. maybe Black isn't so beautiful). You've probably heard people say it before; "whites want to be just like us, they just don't want to be us. " I have to say to some extent I agree. Collagen/Restalyne to enlargen lips, tan their skin to become less pale, butt implants and breast implants to create a more curvy figure that is often associated with more ethnic races, like blacks.. no doubt. However, the part of the beauty standard that I am don't quite seem to think is attributed to the want to be black-esque, is that these traits are often found in all different people of color, like some Latinas, Asians, and Blacks. I think the white need to achieve these features through means of plastic surgery and/or other beauty regimes is more of a need to feel more exotic. Of course, that puts many natural black features in that same category as this desired look, but I'm not convinced it's purely any sort of self-"hatred" (if you will) on the part of the white spectrum or any sort of desire to be black or black-like alone. I seize to think white privilege is something many whites would love to dispose of anytime soon. Perhaps all us "minorities" should take the imitation as a form of flattery. Or perhaps we should test it by getting lipsuction to remove any traces of a curvy figure, get lip reductions, rhinoplasties to slim down our wider noses, and douse ourselves in SPF-30 while holding an umbrella to block the rays on the rare occassions we leave the house and see if we are allegedly copied again with our new less ethnic looks.

To further illustrate my point, that read this quote from 2005's Pretty Persuasion:

"I have respect for all races, but I'm very glad that I was born white. As a
woman, it's the best race to be. Especially if you want to become an actress, like I do. If I wasn't white, then the next thing I would wanna be is Asian. . . If I couldn't be white and I also couldn't be Asian, then my third choice would be African-American because I've always wanted to be a gospel singer and also, black men are more forgiving if your butt gets big. Except I'd definitely want light skin and Caucasian features like... Vanessa Williams or Halle Berry. . ."

Not White Enough.. Not Black Enough

2008-07-13T01:19:00.009-04:00

It's safe to say that looking at my past history of attraction to different guys, that they were not interested mostly on the premise that I was not white. Being not just a girl, but a black girl is one of the hardest things to tackle (unfortunately) in life. The idea of trying to be something different seems to scream-- "trying to be white". White they say?! How is trying to simply mold my own interests in music, film, lifestyles,.... anything connotated with a color? This poses a problem for me, as the idea of beauty in the world is to be a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. Me, with my raven, wild curly afro (mostly donned in summer months, straighten throughout the year), dark-brown almost black almond-esque eyes, and caramel colored skin is practically the antithesis of what is beautiful to not just white guys, but most guys of all the different races, too.

So what's the antithesis of beauty supposed to do to get a date around here? Adapt to the typical stereotype of what it is to "act black"? Be incredibly forward as to let other races know you have interest? Settle for whatever you can get? Stay alone forever? I am at a lost as to what to do, and it depresses me often to know that to many minority men (who seem to often exhibit some sort of self-hate when they express that they "only date white girls") I am not as good or as great of a catch as a white girl (even if she is uneducated and less cultured than I am). I am someone who tries to give everyone a chance, and thinks all races have something that is coveted by me, and should be admired by all. Every race has its beauties and highlights, in my opinion. I will not put myself in a box to say I am only going to date X or only befriend X, Y, and Zs.

My personal experience with this topic stems most clearly from a highschool crush that has lasted throughout all four years of knowing him. He is tall, dark-haired, gorgeous, kind, athletic.. and by chance, w.h.i.t.e. To him, I am just "a friend", never to even be considered a possible option as anything more. It pains me that the amount of melanin in our skin can determine whether or not someone is suitable to befriend, date, or even smile at. My stupid obsession with him is pointless and has yielded me no results as to getting a date. Unfortunately, it may be the case of life as the antithesis of American Beauty.

Allow Me To Introduce...

2008-07-05T23:29:00.008-04:00

Hello out there to all of you interested in the life of this "Not-So-Average-Black teenage girl". One event that made me realize how each adjective is crucially important in describing who I am to the world, was a meeting with the Diversity Council of my school. Our typical meetings consist of planning for various bake sales, or informational forums on different aspects of diversity amongst our community, and discussing interesting or new topics that relate to--you guessed it--diversity. We were asked to divide ourselves into what realm of classification we found to fit "who we are" and "what we're seen as to the world as" most clearly. Options being: A) Nationality, B) Age, C) Gender, and D) Ethnicity. Some divided into Group A, others to Groups B and C, however; most leaned towards the last group, Group D.

The decision to choose between being an American, teenage, female, of African descent was an interesting one, that led to me eventually deciding to choose the American column. See, one issue I find with the term "African-American", though I still use it if I feel the need to be "politically correct", is that I (and many other blacks, if I may proceed to claim) don't know shit about our ancestral African great-great-great-great grandfathers. No--not because no one has the ability to open a text or Wikipedia "Africa", but because often times American identity seems to precede our past of slavery and various stife. Not to say that I do not have the desire to know about them, I just simply have not had the chance to be doused in that part of my culture. In fact, the part of the term, "African-American" that seems to connect most Black Americans is the "-American" modifier. The typical stereotypes of blacks in America in fact, do not have much to do with Africa at all. Fried-Chicken-Eatin'-Red-Kool-Aid-Drinkin'-Gangsta-Talkin'-Criminals-With-New-Nike-Jordans-Spiffed-Up-White-As-New-While-Pushing-On-The-Brakes-Of-Our-Tricked-Out-Escalades-Sitting-On-24"s-All-While-Listening-To-Lean-Wit-It-Rock-Wit-It....... has no connection to Africa, as far as I can see.

The connection to being classified as an American (because all of that "wonderful" imagery conjures up visions of Black-American culture) seems to take precedence in my mind of how others view me. Of course my strong desire to try to open others' minds to the fact that stereotypes (though often rooted in some truth) do not and should not serve as the status quo for an entire group of people. Unfamiliarity is often what is the root of stereotypes, they could even be harmless or even comedic, however; it is when the steretype extends into that particular person and everyone else for that matter's mindsets. Anywho, aside from this mini-tangent of mine, I felt that the need to represent someone who tries to "defy" (though not claiming to be the perfect example) the stereotypes that are often very hurtful and even damaging to many people and their lives/communication efforts with others. So here I am... Not-Your-Average Black Girl. Thoughts, questions, and concerns all appreciated.